drill baby drill.........

To address Americans' concerns about the soaring price of gasoline, Barack Obama has outlined an ambitious new program to reduce imports of foreign oil by one third in the next ten years using a combined strategy of imaginary technologies, burning tax dollars, and unicorn piss....

Owing to time constraints, the alleged president didn't mention his role in banning oil and natural gas drilling in America's continental shelf, how he imposed a long and seemingly pointless moratorium on deep water drilling following the BP disaster (after he'd previously given the Deepwater Horizon platform a safety award), closed millions of acres of American land to gas and oil exploration, and had appointed an Energy Secretary who said that he'd like to see the price of American gasoline rise to much-higher European levels.

But Mr. Obama did outline some of his ideas for greater energy independence, including stepping up the use of nuclear reactors (which are now heavily discounted from Japan!), greater reliance on bio-fuels like corn and grass (currently used to power entire herds of cows) and, most importantly, solar power generators which will be attached directly to Mr. Obama's many mirrors and produce more electricity than the Hoover Dam.

Unfortunately, not many people are buying Mr. Obama's "running on empty" rhetoric. It seems like his magic is ebbing away...even though, when it comes to an energy policy, he's still practicing wishcraft