Thursday, April 14, 2011

Taxes.....and more taxes...



Here at Hope n' Change, we've struggled mightily to come up with an eloquent, accurate, and analytically incisive description of yesterday's "debt reduction" speech by Barack Obama. And in essence, the president's plan is this: "Communism and lots of KY Jelly."

In a style that alternated between folksiness and professorial disdain, the alleged budget cutter said "most Americans tend to dislike government spending in the abstract, but they like the stuff it buys." And he's right; most people like the perks and pork the government doles out to buy their votes. So what's the problem? "Trillions of dollars in unpaid-for tax cuts...tax cuts that went to every millionaire and billionaire in the country."

Of course, the tax cuts also went to every other taxpayer in the country...but admitting it wouldn't really work with his overall theme of inciting hatred and class warfare. Nor would the fact that Barack "spread the wealth" Obama routinely describes people earning $200,000 as "billionaires."

And let's pause to consider the nonsensical phrase "unpaid-for tax cuts." That presumes that politicians are powerless to spend less money (including money they don't have)...and any unpaid bills just mean someone out there just wasn't being taxed enough.


But just what, exactly, will happen if Mr. Obama allows these greedy, miserable, capitalist bastards to hang on to their filthy stolen loot? The alleged president explains, "50 million Americans have to lose their health insurance in order for us to reduce the deficit. Many are someone’s grandparents who wouldn’t be able afford nursing home care without Medicaid. Many are poor children. Some are middle-class families who have children with autism or Down’s syndrome. Some are kids with disabilities so severe that they require 24-hour care."

That's right: the Evil Rich are basically amassing their fortunes by killing people's grandparents and screwing over withered children in wheelchairs. Which is why it's not just okay to hate the Evil Rich, it's practically a patriotic duty.


And that's why the nation's wealthy will be getting off easy if they're only stuck with higher taxes instead of the scalding tar and feathers which they so richly deserve.


It must be true, or the Communist-in-Chief couldn't say so.
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Fun Fact: The Evil Rich have solid gold jacuzzis filled with orphan's tears!

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