Military Humor and staff quotes....

I decided to take a break for a day from all the blogging about the NSA spying on us, the IRS targeting us, the DOJ scoping us, the FBI blowing off any questions about the IRS targeting us, we have the DHS buying up ammo at a prolific rate and targeting us as "Extremist"., we have the HHS secretary with the epitome of "death panels" quotes about us, we have the EPA making more rulings that circumvent the rule of law about us......well crap I am sure I forgot a few....dozen alphabet agencies that believe that we have to be ruled by the elitist because we are too stupid to take care of ourselves...on the other hand. 
     Perhaps the fall of America was assured when the education of our children was turned over to the very entity that was feared the most by our founders..the Government .
     Perhaps the downfall was assured when Woodrow Wilson 30 years later inserted the word "Democracy" into the popular lexicon for the first time.
     Perhaps our hopes are dashed by politicians of a certain political party Communist,Heathen,Godless, Leftist,, Marxist assholes that put their political future above the country Democrats who fight voter I.D. laws because they would benefit from the casting of votes by non-Americans.
     Perhaps when we awoke on November 7th and realized that the clueless dumbed down low information

Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.  - See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

Perhaps the demise of America was assured 100 years ago when it was decided that the education of our children would be turned over to the very entity they should fear the most – government.
Perhaps America’s downfall was assured about 30 years later when Woodrow Wilson inserted the word “democracy” into a State of the Union speech for the very first time.
Perhaps our last hopes are being dashed by politicians who fight voter ID laws because they know that they will be the ones to benefit from fraudulent votes cast by non-citizens.
Surely Americans should have recognized that hope was lost when the lie started spreading about a “right to vote” in presidential elections.
Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.
- See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

Perhaps the demise of America was assured 100 years ago when it was decided that the education of our children would be turned over to the very entity they should fear the most – government.
Perhaps America’s downfall was assured about 30 years later when Woodrow Wilson inserted the word “democracy” into a State of the Union speech for the very first time.
Perhaps our last hopes are being dashed by politicians who fight voter ID laws because they know that they will be the ones to benefit from fraudulent votes cast by non-citizens.
Surely Americans should have recognized that hope was lost when the lie started spreading about a “right to vote” in presidential elections.
Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.
- See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

Perhaps the demise of America was assured 100 years ago when it was decided that the education of our children would be turned over to the very entity they should fear the most – government.
Perhaps America’s downfall was assured about 30 years later when Woodrow Wilson inserted the word “democracy” into a State of the Union speech for the very first time.
Perhaps our last hopes are being dashed by politicians who fight voter ID laws because they know that they will be the ones to benefit from fraudulent votes cast by non-citizens.
Surely Americans should have recognized that hope was lost when the lie started spreading about a “right to vote” in presidential elections.
Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.
- See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

.voters, reelected a community activist that loves to take vacations and play golf and cater to the democrat base rather than represent all of us.  How can a country based on self-reliance and liberty  survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry assed  anti-American SOB like Obama back into office.
    
     Well I saw this cartoon surfing around the internet.  I remembered something like this at the Flight Operations building in Ansbach Germany with the Ist Armored Division  in 1987 when I went there for training with my MOS on loan from the 1st Infantry Division.
    

Perhaps the demise of America was assured 100 years ago when it was decided that the education of our children would be turned over to the very entity they should fear the most – government.
Perhaps America’s downfall was assured about 30 years later when Woodrow Wilson inserted the word “democracy” into a State of the Union speech for the very first time.
Perhaps our last hopes are being dashed by politicians who fight voter ID laws because they know that they will be the ones to benefit from fraudulent votes cast by non-citizens.
Surely Americans should have recognized that hope was lost when the lie started spreading about a “right to vote” in presidential elections.
Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.
- See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

.I shamelessly ripped this off my friend "Shelldude's" Facebook posting.  

Classic Quotes - A Little Military Humor


At this command, we have written in large, black letters: DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on the back of our security badges." Maj (CENTCOM)

"'Leaning forward' is really just the first phase of 'falling on your face.'" Marine Col (MARFOREUR)

"I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt."

"None of us is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)

"We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) in briefings

"Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill. We've got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it." LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building.

"The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of "R's" in 'fat chance...'" GS-15 (SHAPE)

"His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)

"Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (EUCOM)

"We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we rot." LtCol (CENTCOM) on life at his Command

"Right now we're pretty much the ham in a bad ham sandwich..." GO/FO (EUCOM)

"If we wait until the last minute to do it, it'll only take a minute." MAJ(EUCOM)

"The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them ... and then exploit the hell out of 'em." CDR (CENTCOM)

"I may be slow, but I do poor work..." MAJ (USAREUR)

"Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams." Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command.

"WE are the reason that Rumsfeld hates us..." LTC (EUCOM) doing some standard, Army self-flagellation

"Working with Hungary is like watching a bad comedy set on auto repeat..." LCDR (EUCOM)

"I finally figured out that when a Turkish officer tells you, "It’s no problem," he means, for him." Maj (EUCOM)

"Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77 Iraqi exiles at the cost of, well, way too much...

"Our days are spent trying to get some poor, unsuspecting third world country to pony up to spending a year in a sweltering desert, full of pissed off Arabs who would rather shave the back of their legs with a cheese grater than submit to foreign occupation by a country for whom they have nothing but contempt." LTC (JS) on the joys of coalition building

"I guess the next thing they'll ask for is 300 US citizens with Hungarian last names to send to Iraq..." MAJ (JS) on the often-frustrating process of building the Iraqi coalition for Phase IV

"Between us girls, would it help to clarify the issue if you knew that Hungary is land-locked?" CDR to MAJ (EUCOM) on why a deployment from Hungary is likely to proceed by air rather than sea

"So, what do you wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?," etc. -- COL (DIA) describing the way OUSD(P) develops and implements their strategies.

"I'll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat..." Lt Col (EUCOM) after being assigned a difficult task.

"I guess this is the wrong power cord for the computer, huh?" LtCol (EUCOM) after the smoke cleared from plugging his 110V computer into a 220V outlet

"OK, this is too stupid for words." LTC (JS)

"When you get right up to the line that you're not supposed to cross, the only person in front of you will be me!" CDR (CENTCOM) on his view of the value of being politically correct in today's military

"There's nothing wrong with crossing that line a little bit, it's jumping over it buck naked that will probably get you in trouble..." Lt Col (EUCOM) responding to the above

"Never pet a burning dog." LTC (Tennessee National Guard)

"Ah, the joys of Paris: a unique chance to swill warm wine and be mesmerized by the dank ambrosia of unkempt armpits..." LCDR (NAVEUR) [obviously this guy has been to the wrong parts of Paris...]

"'Status quo,' as you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in...'" Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan

"We are now past the good idea cutoff point..." MAJ (JS) on the fact that somebody always tries to "fine tune" a COA with more "good ideas"

"Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6." Col (EUCOM)

"I haven't complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to me yet."

"Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see."

"Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time."

"I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career." MAJ (JS)

"Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress."

"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it." LTC (EUCOM)

"Creating smoking holes (with bombs) gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness." LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference

"Eventually, we have to 'make nice' with the French, although, since I'm new in my job, I have every expectation that I'll be contradicted." DOS rep at a Counter Terrorism Conference

"Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can't get upset when it barks." Lt Col (USSOCOM)

"That guy just won't take 'yes' for an answer." MAJ (EUCOM)

"Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are: institutionalized scab picking."

"I can describe what it feels like being a Staff Officer in two words: distilled pain." CDR (NAVEUR)

"When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of it all." LCDR (CENTCOM)

"Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to sheer stupidity." LTC (CENTCOM)

Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.  - See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf

Or maybe we should all have recognized that the end was approaching when we woke up last November 7^th to find that the voters of this country had put the community-organizing jerk Barack 0bama back into office for the second time.  There is no way a country based on liberty and self-reliance can survive an electorate stupid enough to put a sorry anti-American SOB like 0bama back into office.  - See more at: http://www.boortz.com/weblogs/nealz-nuze/2013/jun/19/you-might-not-want-read/#sthash.4Qenm4EN.dpuf