Comrade Workers, Peasants and Welfare Recipients of America,
For four long years we have battled the economy, and now I am pleased to announce that the economy is finally ready to surrender. Representatives of the economy have met with the party leadership and signed a preliminary surrender agreement.
Throughout the long years of battling against the economy, there were many who thought that we would not prevail, that an economic recovery would somehow occur and the American people would be forced to return to their private sector jobs, instead of spending all day waiting in the unemployment line. But under the inspired leadership of the party, the collective organizers engaged in the people's struggle refused to accept handouts from the capitalist bosses. Instead they remained dedicated to bringing them to their knees. And they have. The American Economy is no more.
It is in the spirit of that glorious collectivism that the old capitalist American greenbacks will be replaced by shining red currency. From this day forward the American basic economic unit will no longer be the Dollar, but the Debit. As our annual interest on the national debt has long since surpassed our gross national product, the Debit is the people's way of repaying the great debts amassed by the party leadership on their behalf. As there is no more gold in Fort Knox, our national debt serves as the new basis for our economy. With each Debit you receive, you take on a greater share of the national debt and a heavier burden of taxation. Therefore it may truly be said that in America the rich are the poorest of us all.