Incident "Santa Navigation rejection"

An unusual number of wish lists had arrived and Santa's workshop was buzzing putting all those presents together.

Santa looked at the increasing mountain of presents, scratched his head and asked the load elves: "isn't this just too much for our good ole sleigh?" The load elves, busy sorting the parcels, updating the load lists and tracking mass and balance, looked up in surprise, nodded and became busy again updating their paper work.

Santa insisted: "Haven't we received this beautiful new B320 Regional Jungle Jet to test out this year?" The chief load elf looked up and confirmed: "yes, Santa, we were given this brand new B20J which is a common effort and a combination of all advantages of the Boeing aircraft, the Airbus A320 family, the Bombardier CRJ aircraft and Embraer ERJs."

Santa therefore decided: "So, let's try the B20J out this year!"

The cargo was loaded onto the brand new aircraft, the aircraft positioned onto the runway and power was applied for takeoff.

"STOP!" shouts Santa, "we can't fly without our navigator! Where is Rudolph?" and rejected takeoff.

Frantic panic broke out - Rudolph was nowhere found. Santa decided to check whether Rudolph was at his secret hideout and could see the red nose from some distance already.

"Rudolph, what is up with you?" asked Santa. Rudolph replied "I can't fly on that piece of alloy and plastics compound and without my comrades Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blixem. And did you think about that FAA overflight permission, which has been issued to our good ole wooden sleigh and not that piece of alloy and plastics compound?"

Santa scratched his head and thought, Rudolph got a point. The load elves recomputed mass and balance and found the sleigh would remain within limits yet depart at absolute maximum takeoff mass. Hence Santa decided that all cargo was to be reloaded onto the sleigh powered by all reindeer and off they went without further incident.

The FAA inspector told Santa: "Your type rating does not include the B20J!"

Incident Facts
Date of Incident	24.12.2018
Classification	News
Airline	Santa
Aircraft Type	N/A N/A
ICAO Type	B20J
Aircraft Registration

Incident "Engine Sneezing on Takeoff"

As usual Santa was preparing for Christmas deliveries, the annual FAA flight test was about to take place to demonstrate the sleigh and its engines are capable of safe flight, Santa was able to handle the sleigh safely and the flight data recorder, that had just been declared mandatory by the FAA, was working properly.

The sleigh was readied for the test, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder and Blixem propelling the sleigh as well as a 9th "red nosed reindeer equipped with supplemental safety and navigation gear", Rudolph, took their positions.

The FAA inspector, as every year, appeared. Santa looked at thim with a suspicious look and remembering the previous years looked a second time, then asked, "Where have you left your rifle this year?"

The inspector smiled and told Santa, "No need this year, yet, I am not supposed to tell, you are still going to lose an engine on takeoff, and you are going to breakdance today!"

The sleigh positioned onto the runway, the reindeer all pulled off with all their power, just before becoming airborne a muffled sound was heard from the direction of Dasher. Just when the sleigh had become airborne Dasher suddenly sneezed causing the sleigh to yaw and roll furiously, Santa applied rudder and steered the sleigh back into stable flight position, Dasher sneezed again and again and again forcing Santa to apply fancy footwork basically breakdancing on the rudder pedals and use all his airmanship to keep the sleigh airborne returning for an emergency landing back at the North Pole. Finally the sleigh touched down safely.

Immediately after the sleigh came to a stop Santa rushed forward to check out what's up with Dasher, who still sneezed again and again. Between two sneezes Santa managed to catch a glimpse of a bumble bee stuck in Dasher's nose, carefully removed the insect, Dasher sneezed a last time and sighed in relief. A borescopic inspection revealed no further damage.

The FAA inspector turned to Santa and said, "I told you so!"

An inspection of the runway and the area immediately past the runway as well as review of the new flight data recorder revealed the sleigh's right runner had briefly impacted the ground again at a high vertical acceleration of about +3.5G when Dasher had sneezed the first time. A hard landing inspection of the sleigh revealed a crack in the right runner. Both runners were replaced by carpenter elves.

The company taking care of Santa's public relations wrote: "Santa returned to the North Pole due to a very minor non-technical nuisance, which was quickly removed. Santa, the reindeers, the sleigh and your presents were safe at all times. Your presents are going to arrive on schedule."

Incident Facts
Date of Incident	24.12.2017
Classification	News
Airline	Santa
Aircraft Type	N/A N/A
ICAO Type	SSLH
Aircraft Registration

         "Image by "SleighSpotters"@Planespotters.com

incident" Smoke in Cockpit

As every year Santa was preparing his sleigh for Christmas deliveries. The FAA flight test had been passed, the reindeer were ready, overflight permissions had all arrived.

Santa was thus preparing his flight plan on his brand new tablet computer, when the load elves brought some additional last minute parcels to deliver. In the hurry Santa put the tablet onto the only free space available immediately, onto his head, grabbed the parcels and stowed them inside the sleigh carefully monitoring mass and balance. When he tried to grab his tablet again to update the load sheet, the tablet computer was terribly hot and Santa burned his fingers, the tablet fell down onto the sleigh's floor. Despite the smoke Santa could see an arrow sticking right through the middle of the tablet. Cabin elves quickly doused the tablet and put it into a secure container.

Looking around he saw an elf on guard duty equipped with a crossbow, who shrugged "Sorry, Santa, couldn't resist, why did you put the apple onto your head?"

Incident Facts
Date of Incident	24.12.2020
Classification	News
Airline	Santa
Aircraft Type	N/A N/A
ICAO Type	SSLH
Aircraft Registration

Some Christmas Video Specials

Christmas is almost here, so I figured I would post a few Christmas related video's...well some of them are tenuously related to Christmas...but who is counting.

                                       First off is the Predator Christmas Special

My favorite, Full Metal Elf

And of course we gotta have some good old fashioned 

church going Pentecostal fire and brimstone.

Some Christmas Humor

Now since it is December 1st 2017, It is time for some Christmas Humor..

Y'all wondered how Santa picked his Reindeer...this is how..

This is why Santa has to keep his reindeer fresh...Sometimes the annual flight exam can be brutal.

 This is Santa's happy elves working at the shop making toys....

And finally we need to get some preaching in....Pentecostal style..