"5 Hard Lessons from the Animal Farm Box Office Debacle"

 

I remember seeing this book in the late 70's in school and calling it "The Pig Book", shows what I know...couple of years later I had to read it for school and it was *dammmmm*  as a history nut even back them I could get the references and parallels if the history of animal farm and the history of the soviet Union.  I have a copy of that book i bought soo many years on a bookshelf in my bonus room.  Its funny that a socialist like George Orwall wrote a warning about communism.   

      I remembered seeing the previews for this movie and I had an interest in seeing it, but apparently it bombed pretty bad.

5 Hard Lessons from ‘Animal Farm’s’ Box Office Debacle

No one apparently wanted a re-imagined take on George Orwell classic

Christian Toto  Follow on TwitterSend an email5 days ago

 7,838 3 minutes read

Andy Serkis’ “Animal Farm” did the impossible.

The “new” take on the George Orwell classic alienated just about everyone, and it somehow united audiences in the process. The film proved too heady for kids but not meaty enough for their parents.

Few rallied to its side, even with its overt culture war implications.

Animal Farm | Andy Serkis | Official Trailer | In Theaters Now | Angel

Conservatives raged against it for discarding the source material’s attack on communism for an anti-capitalist bent. Liberal film critics weren’t pleased with it in general, giving the film a terrible 24 percent “rotten” rating.

The only people who liked it? Tucker Carlson and Riley Gaines, apparently.

The film earned a measly $3.4 million over the weekend. What went wrong? In a word, everything.

The title’s rollout should be a primer for how not to bring a film to the public. Here are some key takeaways from the debacle.

Stay In Your Lane

Angel Studios has done a remarkable job producing quality films on a budget. The shingle does so by telling stories that the majors won’t go near, often involving faith-driven plots or uplifting angles. It’s the anti-Hollywood, and it matters.

Think “Sound of Freedom,” “Cabrini” and “Bonhoeffer.”

An adaptation of “Animal Farm” is the perfect fit for the studio, assuming the film hews close to the source material. It didn’t. Now, even diehard Angel Studios admirers are crying foul.

Don’t Insult Your Fans

We’ve seen this story before. A woke company produced a woke dud, and the folks behind it attack the fans instead of taking responsibility for their woke handiwork. This often happens with geek-friendly content tied to “Star Wars,” “Star Trek” or “Doctor Who.”

“Bleep you, bigots!” It’s anti-PR at its worst.

Yet Angel Studios released a comedic short addressing the rancor tied to the project. Along the way, the clip gently attacks those who didn’t appreciate the film. (The studio apparently took down the clip in question)

That’s just dumb.

Editor’s Note: It’s a brutal time to be an independent journalist, but it’s never been more necessary given the sorry state of the corporate press. If you’re enjoying Hollywood in Toto, I hope you’ll consider leaving a coin (or two) in our Tip Jar.

Hollywood, Inc. Is Not Your Friend

Angel Studios roped in some high-caliber voice talent in acquiring “Animal Farm.” Woody Harrelson. Seth Rogen. Glenn Close. That might have been great for the company’s sense of self, but those stars aren’t aligned with the studio’s point of view.

Co-star Laverne Cox, a trans performer, used the film’s promotional circuit to promote trans issues. That’s all well and good for progressive Hollywood, but chances are the average Angel Studios fan wasn’t keen on hearing that argument.

Kids Don’t Want Income Inequality Screeds

Children love going to the movies, and PG-rated fare has helped Hollywood survive through some rough economic times. This year’s hit parade includes kid-friendly titles like “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie,” “Hoppers” and “GOAT.”

“Animal Farm,” with its $3 million opening weekend, won’t come near those films. Why? Children likely aren’t invested in income inequality riffs or laments about consumerism gone wild.

If It Ain’t Broke …

There’s nothing wrong with tweaking classic material. The modern James Bond would never swat a woman on the bottom a la old school 007. Changing it so much that it’s barely recognizable?That’s different.

We saw how audiences responded to the extreme “Snow White” makeover last year. We’re witnessing something similar play out here.

"Mad Mike" Hoare Crosses beyond the Rim..

 One of my all time favorite movies of all time.

Excellent Pic below of the Actors who were in the Movie, and I also liked the Uniforms,  The British Pattern uniform I though were really neat.  Mack and Pudge need to get off the stick and do a review of the movie.  Granted it was made in the 70's but they can get some old school/New School Perspective on the movie.

The world has lost one of its larger than life figures, Mike Hoare, aged 100.  It is unusual for a mercenary to become a household name, but Michael Hoare, better known as Mad Mike Hoare, became just that.
Personal Life
Mike Hoare was born on the 17th March 1919 in Calcutta India, to Irish parents. At an early age, his parents sent him back to England for his schooling, where he attended Margate College.

Mike Hoare (R) and Belgian Congo Armed Forces evacuating refugees after massacre. (Photo by Priya Ramrakha/The LIFE Picture Collection via Getty Images)

On completing his education, he commenced training as an accountant. Mike wanted to attend Sandhurst, but this was not possible, so he joined the Territorial Army.
At the outbreak of WWII, he joined the London Irish Rifles. Later he transferred to the 2nd Reconnaissance Regiment attached to the Royal Armoured Corps with the rank of 2nd Lieutenant.
He served with distinction in Burma on the Arakan Campaign and then in India at the Battle of Kohima. He ended the war with the rank of major.
In 1945 he married Elizabeth Stott, and the couple had three children. After the war, he completed his studies and qualified as an accountant in 1948.

Original movie poster for The Wild Geese. Richmond Film Productions (West) Ltd Varius Entertainment Trading A.G.

He ran several small businesses in South Africa and true to his adventurous nature, in 1954, he set off to ride a motorcycle from Cape Town to Cairo. Following this adventure, he turned his hand to sunning safaris in the Okavango Delta and in the Kalahari Desert.

Mike was also a keen sailor, and he owned a Baltic trader yacht, named Sylvia, that he sailed in the Mediterranean Sea for a few years.
In 1961 he divorced Elizabeth, and two years later, he married Phyllis Sims, an airline stewardess. The couple had two children.
Mike Hoare detested communism, and this led to the birth of his nickname. His nickname came from East German radio, who described him as a “mad bloodhound,” a moniker that delighted him, and his nickname was born.
Congo Coup
In 1961 he was introduced to Moise Tshombe. Tshombe was a Congolese politician who would later become prime minister of the Congo.
Tshombe employed Hoare to quell a rebellion in Katanga Province, which was attempting to break away from the Republic of the Congo.
Following his success in Katanga, Tshombe employed Hoare again in 1964 to head up a new military unit called 5 Commando, a part of the Armée Nationale Congolaise. Most of the 300 men in this unit were South African. The reason for creating the unit was to combat a revolt known as the Simba Rebellion.


The best-known action of this time was when 5 Commando, in conjunction with CIA operatives, Belgian paratroopers, and other formal and informal forces, worked tirelessly to save 1,600 refugees in Stanleyville from being slaughtered by the Simba rebels.
Hoare and his mixed group managed to save many lives. During this time, Hoare had given his unit the nickname “The Wild Geese,” and they became internationally famous.
This name became the title of a film released in 1978, starring Richard Burton as Colonel Allen Faulkner, a character modeled on Mike Hoare.
Seychelles Coup
All the good publicity that Hoare gained during his time in the Congo was destroyed by his humiliating failure in the infamous “Package Holiday Coup,”; an abject failure.
Hoare knew the Seychelles well, and he despised the socialist government led by President Albert René. With tacit support from the South African and Kenyan governments, Hoare recruited 46 soldiers and planned to enter the Seychelles disguised as a rugby team.

 Mad Mike Talks Africa

The men passed through customs, but one of them joined the wrong queue and panicked when questioned by customs officers. The found a dismantled AK-47 rifle in his baggage, and the man spilled the beans.
The entire plan was compromised, and in the ensuing chaos, the group hijacked an Air India plane and flew back to South Africa.
On arrival in South Africa, the entire group was incarcerated for six days. The press had a field day with the story, and Mike Hoare was heavily ridiculed with his coup attempt being dubbed the package holiday coup.
Following a conviction for the hijacking of the Air India plane, Mike Hoare was sentenced to 20 years with 10 being suspended. He served 33 months of his sentence.
Later Years
Mike Hoare spent the last years of his life writing his memoirs.  He published The Road to Kalamata, The Seychelles Affair, and Mercenary.
He passed away in a care facility in Durban South Africa on the 2nd February 2020.
Mike Hoare’s son, Chris, summed up his father’s life succinctly by saying, “Mike Hoare lived by the philosophy that you get more out of life by living dangerously, so it is all the more remarkable that he lived more than 100 years.”

s.”

 

A quad of quick video's

I have been working some long hours this week at work with the employee involvement group that I am a member of so I figured I would post a couple of video's that I have posted in the past and are good for a laugh.

       I showed this video to a person from "inFlight Services" and she had never had seen this before and almost passed out laughing at the video.

   And of course the "Saga of Bjorn" is a popular one.

     And I got a couple of "Hitler parody" video's I found

                                         Hitler and BREXIT, they are hilarious!

Watching some movies on NETFLIX..

I have been taking a bit of time to relax. I do find myself a fan of movies that I watched when I was growing up.  I decided to talk about a couple of them.  These movies are what I call my "Top 10" movies that I will watch over and over again. 

The Enemy Below is a 1957 war film which tells the story of the battle between the captain of an American destroyer escort and the commander of a German U-boat during World War II. The movie stars Robert Mitchum and Curt Jürgens and was directed and produced by Dick Powell. The film was based on a novel by Denys Rayner, a British naval officer involved in anti-submarine warfare throughout the Battle of the Atlantic.

 I really liked this movie.  The Star Trek (TOS) episode "Balance of Terror" with the cloaked Romulan ship attacking the federation outpost was based upon this movie.

  I also watched or am watching "300 Spartans", the movie The 300 Spartans is a 1962 CinemaScope film depicting the Battle of Thermopylae. Made with the cooperation of the Greek government, it was shot in the village of Perachora in the Peloponnese. It starred Richard Egan as the Spartan king Leonidas, Ralph Richardson as Themistocles of Athens and David Farrar as Persian king Xerxes, with Diane Baker as Ellas and Barry Coe as Phylon providing the requisite romantic element in the film. In the film, a force of Greek warriors, led by 300 Spartans, fights against a Persian army of almost limitless size. Despite the odds, the Spartans will not flee or surrender, even if it means their deaths.
        This movie is where I heard the term "Molon Labe"   or come and take them.

Lacedaemonians at The Battle of Thermopylae:

Ὦ ξεῖν', ἀγγέλλειν Λακεδαιμονίοις ὅτι τῇδε κείμεθα, τοῖς κείνων ῥήμασι πειθόμενοι.		Tell them in Lacedaimon, passer-by That here, obedient to their word, we lie,
		—Translated by F L Lucas as an English heroic couplet

Additionally, there is a modern monument at the site, called the "Leonidas Monument", in honor of the Spartan king. It features a bronze statue of Leonidas. A sign, under the statue, reads simply: "Μολὼν λαβέ" ("Come and take them!"—as in answer to Xerxes' demand that the Greeks give up their weapons). The metope below depicts battle scenes. The two marble statues on the left and the right of the monument represent, respectively, the river Eurotas and Mount Taygetos, famous landmarks of Sparta

     And  I watched this movie last week The Siege of Jadotville is a 2016 historical drama war film directed by Richie Smyth and written by Kevin Brodbin. It was first screened at the 2016 Galway Film Festival.The film received a limited cinema distribution in Ireland in September 2016,and planned for simultaneous worldwide distribution on Netflix and a number of US iPic Theaters during October 2016.The film is based on Declan Power's book, The Siege at Jadotville: The Irish Army's Forgotten Battle (2005)
     I thought it was a good movie told from a perspective that I didn't know much about.  I had mentioned to Mac that this movie made the UN look like bumbling fools.  Here is more information at the Link  and a good PDF read of the events are Here.

     And finally I watched the movie "Zulu is a 1964 epic war film depicting the Battle of Rorke's Drift between the British Army and the Zulus in January 1879, during the Anglo-Zulu War. It depicts 150 British soldiers, many of whom were sick and wounded patients in a field hospital, who successfully held off a force of 4,000 Zulu warriors.

 The film was directed by American screenwriter Cy Endfield and produced by Stanley Baker and Endfield, with Joseph E. Levine as executive producer. The screenplay is by John Prebble and Endfield, based on an article by Prebble, a historical writer. The film stars Stanley Baker and introduces Michael Caine, in his first major role, with a supporting cast that includes Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Nigel Green, Paul Daneman, Glynn Edwards, Ivor Emmanuel and Patrick Magee. Future South African political leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi played Zulu King Cetshwayo kaMpande, his great grandfather. The opening and closing narration is spoken by Richard Burton.
     




    

Just got back...and lines from a good movie

I just got back and man I am tired...

kinda like Mel Brooks and Venice.....

   Here is one of my favorite lines from the movie though....

"Here me O Israel, I have these..15...*Crash* 10 commandments for all to hear and obey....."

Watched a Movie through Netflix "Emperor"

I have recently gotten "netflix" and I like to watch historical movies,   Over a year ago I had watched a movie called Yamato.  Now I had a movie called "Emperor" showed up in my que...and I watched it and it was to me pretty good.  Sure it is fictionalized to an extent but the background was excellently done as were the background actors.  It did mention the attempted coup against the emperor Hirohito when he wanted to make peace with the Allies.  there was a lot of history in the background and to me is worthy on that alone.  If you are in historical movies, and have a couple of hours to kill, it is a good move.  

In the largely unexplored world of the early days of the American Occupation following Japan's catastrophic defeat, Emperor tells a fictionalized account based on the real life story of US Army Brigadier General Bonner Frank Fellers (Mathew Fox) who served under General Douglas MacArthur (Tommy Lee Jones). Fellers is given the impossible task to investigate the Emperor's role in the lead-up to war, most specifically his involvement in the decision to attack Pearl Harbor within ten days. This is a great responsibility to which Fellers, a known Japan aficionado who had spent time in Japan before the war, must handle delicately, or risk a general uprising or worse. He will question the accused Class -A War Criminals such as Wartime Prime Minister Hideki Tojo, Former Prime Minister Konoe, and Koichi Kido while confronting prejudice from a resentful populace and other American soldiers. Complicating this task is General Richter (Colin Moy) who is bent on derailing Fellers' investigation in order to justify revenge upon the Emperor. As Richter conveys the American Public's demand for revenge, "Revenge is not Justice" argues Fellers. To conduct his investigation, Fellers is assigned a staff and further assisted by Takahashi (Haneda Masayoshi) who is assigned to him as both interpreter and driver who serves diligently without reservation. Takahashi is initially treated with cold indifference by Fellers who is both under the strain of his investigation and his preoccupation with finding his pre-war love interest Aya Shimada (Hatsune Eriko) to which Fellers deliberately steered bombing missions away from her home, Richter will attempt to use this information against him. Post-War tensions, dramatic sets, period costume, and an all star international cast make Emperor a most revealing riveting drama of the Post-War Era.

A book I am reading now...Movie and the A350...

This is a quick post and an apologies to my blog readers, I have been busy...and I will blame this ..

     I could shameless blame Old NFO for this....and I will...he can handle it.  Seriously now, reading his books are like visiting old friends, you know when you read a series of books and you like the characters and wish the world had more like these.  The storyline is based on the situation with the Tex -Mex border and the smuggling cartel wanting to continue moving product and people, and the ruthlessness of the cartel to squash all that stand in their way. On the other hand we have the main characters just trying to continue living their lives as a family....strange family with the cast of characters that are there, but a very good group of characters.  Like I said, reading his books is like visiting old friends and watching them change as life takes them through the rivers of time and the eddies of life.  Very enjoyable.

Good book...Good Coffee...quiet Morning...

    You can buy your own copy Here.   Mr Curtis will also do "Dead Tree" versions for those that like the real books in their hands.  He will also sign them..you just contact him via the link  or through his Website.

   My son is wanting to go to see a movie the latest terminator saga, so we will go to see this Sunday Afternoon. 

And finally I will talk about my Airbus A350 XWB experience after my Monday Music I will post tomorrow......

A350 continuing her American Tour

Looking for something...a movie....

Hey Y'all,

    I have been looking for a movie that was made during WWII or shortly afterward.  It was the story of the USS Franklin, but it was a fictional ship called "The Dixie" I believe and it was a WWII what I call a propaganda film released by Hollywood..back when they supported the Military.

The Yamato and other musings while I am stuck at home

I am stuck at home, I had a medical procedure performed that did not go as planned so I will have a more invasive procedure done later this year to correct the problem.  I was planning on going to the NRA convention this year but I had to have this procedure done instead.   It had to do with timing.  I could have waited and had the procedure done later, but it would put me into the summer schedule and there is a LOT of overtime in that so I had to forgo the NRA trip I wanted to do and meet all the people that I blog with.  I am hoping there will be another city mentioned soon and what dates so I can make sure that my calender is clear.
     So anyway I am stuck at home, and we got a "smart" tv for Christmas and I discovered I could use it in conjunction with my smart phone and watch videos that I find on my phone, play them through the TV with the "YouTube" app.  So here I was bored silly, having to stay seated in the recliner, well I was surfing Star Trek TV shows, especially the remastered Original series with the "Doomsday Machine"

You Tube is really cool, what can I say.  I also watched clips from the Star Trek II The Wraith of Khan, I consider it the best of the movies that involved the original series.

   It had good and bad guys, Starships shooting at each others, an excellent soundtrack, it had action, adventure, a Horatio Hornblower in Space kinda thing.
     Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is a 1982 American science fiction adventure thriller film released by Paramount Pictures. The film is the second feature based on the Star Trek science fiction franchise. The plot features Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and the crew of the starship USS Enterprise facing off against the genetically-engineered tyrant Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalbán), a character who first appeared in the 1967 Star Trek television series episode "Space Seed". When Khan escapes from a 15-year exile to exact revenge on Kirk, the crew of the Enterprise must stop him from acquiring a powerful terraforming device named Genesis. The film concludes with the death of Enterprise's captain, Spock (Leonard Nimoy), beginning a story arc that continues with the 1984 film Star Trek III: The Search for Spock and concludes with 1986's Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
    Well I went from Star Trek to "Star Blazers"  A Japanamation cartoon that I saw in the late 70's.  I really loved that series and saw both seasons.  There was a 3rd season that was released only in Japan, I was watching those also.

Well I went and watched several episodes of "Star Blazers"  which was called "Space Cruiser Yamato" in Japanese.  Well something youtube does is put up video's in the Que for you to watch based on the interest you have typed in.  Well there was a movie made in Japan called " The Mens Yamato".  It was about 2 hours long and it was really well done.  I spend the time seeing a different view, and yes it did show the draconian discipline that the Japanese Military was known for from its petty officers to the rated seamen.  The story starts about a young Japanese women that wants to go to the location of the Yamato sinking, later in the movie, it was to return her fathers ashes to join his shipmates that have died there, kinda like what the U.S.S. Arizona survivors do when they die, they frequently ask to have their ashes released into the water where their shipmates died.  The story talks about the bond of loyalty people have for their ship and shipmates.   A very well done movie.

Yamato (大和^?), named after the ancient Japanese Yamato Province, was the lead ship of the Yamato class of battleships that served with the Imperial Japanese Navy during World War II. She and her sister ship, Musashi, were the heaviest and most powerfully armed battleships ever constructed, displacing 72,800 tonnes at full load and armed with nine 46 cm (18.1 inch) main guns. Neither ship survived the war.
Laid down in 1937 and formally commissioned a week after the Pearl Harbor attack in late 1941, Yamato was designed to counter the numerically superior battleship fleet of the United States, Japan's main rival in the Pacific. Throughout 1942 she served as the flagship of the Japanese Combined Fleet, and in June 1942 Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto directed the fleet from her bridge during the Battle of Midway, a disastrous defeat for Japan. Musashi took over as the Combined Fleet flagship in early 1943, and Yamato spent the rest of the year, and much of 1944, moving between the major Japanese naval bases of Truk and Kure in response to American threats. Although she was present at the Battle of the Philippine Sea in June 1944, Yamato played no part in the battle.
The only time she fired her main guns at enemy surface targets was in October 1944, when she was sent to engage American forces invading the Philippines during the Battle of Leyte Gulf. The Japanese were unaware that Admiral Halsey's entire massive fast carrier task force with battleships had been successfully lured away by a feint. Left behind was only a slow escort carrier task force armed against ground forces with no hope of protecting vulnerable troop transports from the Yamato. But as the American light ships resembled larger cruisers and carriers, the Japanese believed they were fighting the main fleet. The massive guns of Yamato would not be turned against battleships, but in the Battle off Samar would instead be a seemingly mismatched showdown against the industrial production of small and inexpensive light ships and carriers. Nevertheless desperate sailors and aviators delivered accurate 5 in shellfire and torpedoes from ships as small as destroyer escorts. These attacks wrought enough havoc on the Japanese surface force to turn them back, but only after inflicting losses comparable in ships and men to the Battle of Midway.
During 1944, the balance of naval power in the Pacific decisively turned against Japan and, by early 1945, the Japanese fleet was much depleted and critically short of fuel stocks in the home islands, limiting its usefulness. In April 1945, in a desperate attempt to slow the Allied advance, Yamato was dispatched on a one way voyage to Okinawa, where it was intended that she should protect the island from invasion and fight until destroyed. The task force was spotted south of Kyushu by US submarines and aircraft, and on 7 April 1945 she was sunk by American carrier-based bombers and torpedo bombers with the loss of most of her crew.
    
From the time of their construction, Yamato and her sister Musashi carried significant weight in Japanese culture. The battleships represented the epitome of Imperial Japanese naval engineering, and because of their size, speed, and power, visibly embodied Japan's determination and readiness to defend its interests against the Western Powers and the United States in particular. Shigeru Fukudome, chief of the Operations Section of the Imperial Japanese Navy General Staff, described the ships as "symbols of naval power that provided to officers and men alike a profound sense of confidence in their navy." Yamato's symbolic might was such that some Japanese citizens held the belief that their country could never fall as long as the ship was able to fight.

Decades after the war, Yamato was memorialised in various forms by the Japanese. Historically, the word "Yamato" was used as a poetic name for Japan; thus, her name became a metaphor for the end of the Japanese empire. In April 1968, a memorial tower was erected on Cape Inutabu in Japan's Kagoshima Prefecture to commemorate the lives lost in Operation Ten-Go. In October 1974, Leiji Matsumoto created a new television series, Space Battleship Yamato, about rebuilding the battleship as a starship and its interstellar quest to save Earth. The series was a huge success, spawning five feature films and two more TV series; as post-war Japanese tried to redefine the purpose of their lives, Yamato became a symbol of heroism and of their desire to regain a sense of masculinity after their country's defeat in the war. Brought to the United States as Star Blazers, the animated series proved popular and established a foundation for anime in the North American entertainment market. The motif in Space Battleship Yamato was repeated in Silent Service, a popular manga and anime that explores issues of nuclear weapons and the Japan-US relationship. The crew of the main plot device, a nuclear-powered super submarine, mutinied and renamed their vessel Yamato, in allusion to the World War II battleship and the ideals she symbolises.
In 2005, the Yamato Museum was opened near the site of the former Kure shipyards. Although intended to educate on the maritime history of post Meiji-era Japan, the museum gives special attention to its namesake; the battleship is a common theme among several of its exhibits, which includes a section dedicated to Matsumoto's animated series. The centrepiece of the museum, occupying a large section of the first floor, is a 26.3-metre long model of Yamato (1:10 scale).

Later that year, Toei released a 143 minute movie, Yamato, based on a book by Jun Henmi, to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the end of World War II; Tamiya released special editions of scale models of the battleship in conjunction with the film's release. Based on a book of the same name, the film is a tale about the sailors aboard the doomed battleship and the concepts of honour and duty. The film was shown on more than 290 screens across the country and was a commercial success, taking in a record 5.11 billion yen at the domestic box office.

Annoying Movie Cliche's........and dunuts

I ram across this while surfing around and figured my readers would get a kick out of it.  Some of them are pretty good.
   Since I have some police mentioned in this cliche post.  There are people that want to ban certain weapons except for the police. I figured I would change it up from Assault rifles to "Donuts" So I had this pic sitting around in my "blog folder" that I have where I pull out these pics I seem to come up with.  I will use it.

The kicker is looking at them at 5:00 in the morning after posting it contemplating a dunut run......Durn it.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
-Incompetent police officers are inevitably corrupt.
-All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.
-At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
-All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
-Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.
-You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
-A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
-If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
-If in a haunted house, any strange noises should be investigated by women in their most revealing underwear.
-Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
-All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily no matter which wire you cut it will always be the right one.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-Babysitters are doomed.
-All the 'teenagers' in a school are in reality well past their teenage years.
-Everyone splits up to hunt for the ghost/monster/serial killer.
-There's nothing better than running through the woods in the dark, waving torches and shouting Dave, where are you? all the time followed by the serial killer.
-Whenever you go into a bar in a film, the bartender is always polishing glasses. Doesn't matter if it's a posh bar or a dodgy one, that's all he does all the time, polishing glasses.
-When paying for a taxi, do not look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
-Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
-The Protagonist can always find inspiration/motivation for the big challenge from dead best friends or dead family members.
-Single parents usually lose their spouse to cancer (and they're still not over it).
-James Bond never gets an STD.
-James Bond also never seems badly affected by the amount of alcohol he drinks - sexual, gambling and driving prowess's remain intact.
-Dogs and children know immediately that someone is the bad guy.
-Good guys never get shot in the face and no matter how grievously injured, always live long enough to say a few words.
-All gratings covering the entry to a ventilation system will come off with only a tug (no screws), and the shaft is always horizontal and big enough for adults to crawl through.
-Any group of pathetically inept losers with a boozy but lovable old coach will eventually win the championship.
-No one ever forgets a telephone number, even if it was only communicated in the middle of a gunfight or car chase.
-At least one scientist is from an oriental background.
-People hack into computers by incessantly typing on the keyboard. Even though they don't appear to be working in DOS mode, they never use the mouse.
-Sadistic killers are also witty stand-up comedians specializing in one-liners.
-Bombs are always defused within the last three seconds, never at twelve or twenty seven. NOTE: This doesn't apply in James Bond, in Gold Finger. He stops it at 007 seconds to go.
-Detectives hunches are always correct.
-Any fight at a wedding reception will always result in someone crashing into the wedding cake.
-There is always a gun in reach when you fall onto the ground.
-When the hero is running and the bad guys are shooting at him with a machine gun, the bullets will consistently hit the ground just behind his feet. This is because it's impossible to swivel a machine gun as quickly as the hero is running.
-In car chases the hero car just avoids the woman pushing the pram across the road. Then it crashes through lots of market stalls (usually fruit and vegetable stalls), destroying the livelihoods of perfectly innocent hard-working people but never actually killing any of them.
-A photo and newspaper clippings wall, containing all the villain's crimes and killings, is always stumbled across by the hero, typically under a bare light bulb in the killer's basement.
-When the lead detective has a meeting with his team, it is always productive and completed in seconds or minutes. Every one contributes vital pieces of information and the conversation flows flawlessly with everyone possessing super intelligence and quick thinking abilities.
-Just as the hero and villains fight ends, with the hero winning, about a dozen police cars show up.
-When about to have sex, clothes melt seamlessly off bodies. No one ever needs to sit down and take off shoes and socks.
-Whenever anyone receives a phone call in the middle of the night, it's always 2, 3 or 4am. Exactly.
-The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
-Getaway cars never start first time. But all cop cars do and they will also slide to a dramatic stop in the middle of a crime scene. Unfortunately they crash more than any others cars too.
-On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard.
-Cars never need fuel (unless they are involved in a pursuit).
-Inspiring speeches almost always end in that character being immediately and horrifically killed. 

Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
-Cars always have a set of spare keys in the glove box.
-Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. None of their clients -rich or poor- beat them, or abuse them etc. They aren't heroin addicts nor have STDs. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighborhood who do not mind at all what the girl does for a living.
-A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
-One man shooting at 20 men with a handgun has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once with machine guns.
-When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
-Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
-Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
-During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
-In all martial art movies the hero can beat up 30 ninjas and martial art masters in 5 minutes. But if he smart mouths to his 100 year old grandma, she has the speed to slap him.
-If there is a pool, someone will end up falling into it.
-If you get hit in the leg or arm with a bullet, even a small caliber one, you just swear briefly, then carry on fighting for ages and walking around without any pain at all, nor do you seem to lose blood. When 12 hours later you go to the doctor, he takes the bullet out instantly, you don't need the limb amputated or even bandaged.
- Any couple that fights in the beginning is bound to end up together.
-The protagonist has a minimalist apartment in a skyscraper with full window walls. He wakes up and stands nude, contemplating the city vista.
- The crazy old aunt/bum is actually very intelligent and provides key insight at the last minute.
-If you ever need to hide a child while you go off to battle your enemies, there's always a long lost relative who lives somewhere remote that will be more than happy to receive them in the middle of the night.
-Subway/Elevator doors close just as the character reaches them in a mad dash.
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-No one ever has to take a shit. Ever.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins and radio programmed usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
-People having conversation in a cafe never seem to finish their food and just take off after their conversation is over.
-Everybody carries around flip phones which can be broken like a pencil and thrown away.
-There is no limit to which a street camera can be zoomed and apparently they are present everywhere.
-The protagonist can jump over rooftops with ease and can save himself from falling even if he gets the tip of his finger over the wall.
-Women turn into martial arts experts whenever they are dressed in tight suits.
-It doesn't matter what kind of job you have in NYC, you can afford a spacious brownstone house in a good neighborhood.
-If you are an evil mastermind, then all bad news is the mistake of the messenger and it makes perfect sense to shoot/kill/maim/hurt them.
-Any car that is wrecked will catch fire and burn. People who have suffered head and neck injuries in car accidents are needlessly harmed by well-intentioned would-be rescuers who believe this.
-Mobile phones only work until you really need them then you will either be unable to get a signal or the battery will be flat.
-A defibrillator can revive dead people. In fact, you would use heart massage on a dead person.
-People can be knocked out for hours with one punch and with no long term health issues, when in reality if you are knocked unconscious for longer than a few seconds you will probably experience fairly serious brain damage.
-In any dangerous situation the good guy will leave the pretty girl in a safe place, where the bad guy will kidnap or kill her.
-In any situation involving a group of people the natural leader will get everything so screwed up that only the most worthless member can save the day.
-The bad guy will always be shot/stabbed from the back just as he goes to pull the trigger or bring down a knife on the good guy.
-Your six-shot revolver can fire 17 times without reloading. and 19 Indians fall down.
-A professor is always interrupted in the middle of a lecture by the bell or when something important is about to be told. The same goes in any detective film. Just as someone is about to tell the detective who the murderer is, after they keep stalling, as the open their mouth to say who it is, someone shoots them.
-No-one ever says 'bye' at the end of a phone call; one person will just terminate the call without the other thinking this rude.
-People can hold their breath underwater for ages, especially in panicky situations.
-The sound from an explosion in space can propagate through the vacuum and be heard and felt, sometimes violently, by an observer in a distant spacecraft. The travel time of the sound is also instantaneous regardless of how many millions of kilometers away the observer is located.

The Saga of Biorn and other musings

Biorn the Viking is old and wants to go to Vahalla like all good vikings.......

But his problem is that he can't find a worthy opponent.   at first.    Very good short film

    I remembered posting this video a year or so ago and I happen to watch it on you tube, I have it saved there and I got another laugh out of it.

     There is this scene in 13th warrior that is more serious but still describes the mindset of the Norsemen

I really liked that movie 13th Warrior and it is a good Saturday movie.

    And here is a belief that I have...

     I worked 12 hours overtime, so now I will go to sleep:)