Webster

The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions." --American Statesman Daniel Webster (1782-1852)


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

25 signs that you are a cop....

25 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE A COP
-You have the bladder capacity of five people combined.
-You have restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
-You believe that 50 per cent of people are a waste of good air.
-Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call.
-You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.
-You support aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.
-You disbelieve 90 per cent of what you hear and 75 per cent of what you see.
-You have your weekends off planned for a year.
-You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
-You refer to your favourite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located.
-You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide: Getting it right the first time".
-You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.
-You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
-You know anyone who says "I only had two beers" is going to blow at least a .15
-You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.
-Anyone has ever said to you "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me".
-People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places... and you know where they're located.
-You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.
-You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.
-You walk into places and people think its high comedy to grab their buddy and shout "They've come to get you, Bill".
-You do not see daylight from November until May.
-People shout "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original.
-A week's worth of laundry consists of five T-shirts, five pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear.
-You've ever referred to Tuesday as "My weekend".
-You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.

2 comments:

  1. Ah, memories. That is a great list. Thanks for posting it!

    ReplyDelete