|by Gunny G|
You know something, even the Gunny is not above some soul-searching and in doing so, he realized that he has been very mean to Obama over and over and over again and he sincerely apologizes to Barry for that. Gunny [heart] Barry (but he AIN'T visiting that Chicago bathhouse with you or Rahm and we AIN'T taking late night showers together).
THANK YOU OBAMA...
For bowing to foreign leaders like King Abdullah and that Japanese dude and One Hung Lo in China and playing kissy-kiss with Hugo Chavez. Americans in the Heartland loved it. Simply awe-inspiring.
For taking the side of Zelaya (Marxist dude) in Honduras when he tried to usurp their Constitution and then being a big ol' meanie to Honduras when they ousted Zelaya. What a boost to our freedom loving reputation!
For naming dangerous radical revolutionaries (that the Secret Service and/or the DOJ refuses to investigate) like Van "9/11 Truther" Jones, Anita "cow mouth" Dunn, the screaming ballerina Rahmbutt Emanuel, John "Kill em All" Holdren, Cass "Nudge" Sunstein, etc, into your Regime. Gotta tell ya brother, America digs it.
For palling around with domestic terrorists like Bill Ayers who murdered Americans, maimed others, and thinks that the slaughter of 25 million Americans who refuse to be "reeducated" is, well, nothing to be upset over. Man, law enforcement simply thought that was so cool and us vets whom he scorns? Wunderbar. (That's German, not Austrian, Barry, for you are one shithot dude!)
For spending us to the brink of disaster and adding tens of thousands of dollars of debt to my grand, great-grandchildren yet unborn. They SOOOOOOOOO love that. Those that don't get aborted since WHO wants a mistake on their hands huh?
For lying over and over and over and over and over again to the America people because you think that we're stupid. We are, or rather, 52.9% of the population is. The rest of us, not so much and when you stutter, i.e., "I,I,I,I,I,I, will ______" we know you lie. But you do it so smoothly that we really like it. It makes us feel ALL warm and fuzzy inside.
For making the American Nation a food stamp nation. How COOL it is to be not only UNEMPLOYED thanks to your awesome economic wizards like Austen Goolsby who threw money at anything hoping it will stick, but to have to use food stamps, er, EBT cards to feed your family! Why, killing the dignity and self-respect of a father, breadwinner, husband, especially a white cracker, is awesome.
For giving us ObamaKare in that cool backroom middle-of-the-night deal that will add trillions to our debt and turn 1/6th of the economy over to stupid bureaucrats that can't even manage their own lives, i.e., Weiner, Patrick Kennedy, etc, that we are literally down on our knees in thanks. Standing in lines and waiting months and months for an operation and then, when old, getting the blue pill...thanks Barry (sniff, sniff, wiping eyes).
For refusing to follow that stupid old document created by white racists only concerned with enriching themselves you go Barry! The HELL with following the War Powers Act of 1974! The HELL with following your Constitutional Oath to defend the borders against invasion (illegal aliens) because we KNOW you need those votes and your homies need cheap landscaping. Start those illegal wars like in Libya, lie to the American people about troops on the ground (500 were), and forge your path to a dictatorship you rebel you! Damn the Constitution of the USA and UP the Constitution of the former Soviet Union because you seem to be following THAT more and believe you me Barry, America thanks you!
For kissing the unwashed ass of Iran, who works SO hard to be peaceful and who only needs nukes for self-protection, heedless of their threats to Israel and the West. Oh, and speaking of Israel, your hot-mic incident and rude treatment of that bad ol Jew meanie Bibi Netanyahu was epic. How America SWOONED when you left the USA for a vacation and Bibi gave a speech before Congress that rocked the house and it was ALL for you Barry. When you told Sarkozy that you really hate that big ol bull Bibi, man, we had your back. You stud you, who KNEW that you, a skinny pencil-neck would stand up to a bull of a man and a former Sayeret Matkal (Israeli SEALs) by talking about Bibi when he was about 8,000 miles away. You bad-ass warrior you.
For whacking Osama bin Farting. Barry, when you fast-roped in ahead of the SEALs and double-tapped Public Enemy #1 while the SEALs held your jacket, yeeeeah baby, America had a collective hard-on visible from space shuttles, that is IF we had any workable space shuttles now that you shut down the program. Whoda thought America would be asking the Russians for a ride into space? Barry, that was truly a work of art...so crafty. Why, you're an espionage genius!
For driving up inflation and the price of food through fantastic economic miracles like Quantitative Easing 1, 2, and 3 as well as Cash for Clunkers and constantly printing the money we need. WHO CARES that food is higher priced and coming in smaller amounts, i.e., a pound of bacon is now 14 ounces vice 16! LESS truly IS MORE! What the heck, we're all so fat, we can go on that diet your cousin Mugabe gave to HIS people in Zimbabwe.
For ending that STUPID XL Keystone pipeline that stood in the way of your buddies Buffett and Soros and Senator Ben Nelson making millions and millions. WHO needs that stupid old fossil fuel ANYWAY when we have Solyndra, the Chevy Dolt, Fisker, Stephen Chu, Solar City, and the rest of those pioneers using taxpayer dollars that somehow find their back into your campaign coffers? Piffle on that pipeline and those 20,000 jobs. After all, Nancy Pelosi said it best when she said, "unemployment checks stimulate the economy!"
For letting us know that dog meat is, "the other white meat."
Finally Barry, we really want to thank you for driving up the price of gas (120% since 2009) because we have finally realized that we were driving too much and enjoying WAYYY too much freedom of movement being able to drive when and where we wanted. How stupid of us and thank you for showing us the light...as your fine lovely bride stated recently, "Barack brought America out of the dark and into the light." Too true.
We truly want to thank you a million times over Barry, for rewriting our history, our traditions, our customs, and for putting your feet up in the Oval Office on stupid racist desks like the Resolute desk, that old antique coffee table, etc. Hey, WHO CARES that they are national treasures. Bah humbug.