Webster

The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions." --American Statesman Daniel Webster (1782-1852)


Sunday, June 22, 2014

New Execution Method......and cop humor

I got this you tube video from my Dad and after nearly busting a gut watching, I figured I would post it on my blog.

Yes this is satire but it is very funny.  I personally am a fan of electric Bleachers

Also some cop humor....My Dad is a retired cop and he though these were great!

Here is some Police Humor......if you have a good one, send it to me. 

GREAT THINGS OVERHEARD WHILE ON THE BEAT--  
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them 
awhile." 

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 

"Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em.... nobody is your friend." 
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 

"That says POLICE, not taxi." 

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" (if you aren't a shooter, that is the 
average speed of a 9mm projectile (slug)). 

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I 
want on the ticket, huh?" 

"You can't outrun a radio." 

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I 
mention that I am the shift supervisor?" 

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give 
you another ticket." 

"I'd rather have the gear and not need it than need the gear I don't have." 

"If it's worth stopping, it's worth writing." 

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was 
Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" 

"Some people are meant to be cops, and some people are meant to call the cops." 

"God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today." 

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." 
  
"Bulletproof vests aren't." 

"Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because dedicated men and 
women stand ready to do violence in their behalf." 

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 

"In God we trust, all others are suspects." 

"Just how big were those two beers?" 
"Uh....yes, Chief, it only appeared as if I wasn't paying attention to your speech. Actually, 
you inspired me to meditate on the mission statement and envision a new 
paradigm." 

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed 
to write as many tickets as we want." 

"Law enforcement is not a spectator sport." 

"I know, I know, your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention center." 

"I'm glad to hear the chief of police is a good, personal friend of yours. At least you know 
someone who can post your bail." 

"You might beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride." 

"We don't hire cops in this department, we hire common sense and make cops from it." 

"I don't believe they should use the electric chair, they need to use electric bleachers." 

"Handcuffs aren't designed for comfort." 

"Your arrest. You catch 'em, you clean 'em." 

  He also sent me this tee-shirt







3 comments:

  1. Great ones!!! And love the t-shirt!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "You can't outrun a radio."

    The way I heard this was "You can outrun a motorcar. You can outrun a motorcycle. You can't outrun Motorola."

    ReplyDelete