Lawyer Jokes....Like we need Lawyer Jokes...But here we are.

I had commented in a past post somewhere on someones else's blog about posting lawyer jokes....so I went around and found some Lawyer jokes online.....People make jokes about Lawyers, but Lawyers are necessary to keep the system from screwing you over.  A good lawyer will keep the state from wrecking your future, taking your stuff and turning you into a wage slave for the next 40 years.  I will give you an example.  I used to work at Ford, I had a friend that had sold a pistol to a friend of his who promptly took it to D.C (Before Heller) and got his ass picked up with the pistol.  Well his friend rolled on my friend trying to lessen his sentence.  My friend was in the reserve, had over 20 years, pension from the Army, plus his Ford job, all of this was in jeopardy because of this.  Well I was a shop steward at Ford and he asked me"What do I do?" and I told him "Get a lawyer." he commented..."I can get one of those court appointed ones..." and I immediately told him,"You do that, you are screwed, your court appointed lawyer who is going to have a pile of files on his desk will plea bargain you down to clear you off his desk because he has 25 other people he has to represent.  Get a good lawyer who has your interest at heart,  what is your freedom and pension and job worth?"  Well my friend got a good lawyer,who ran interference,  cost him some$$$ money but was able to keep one of the alphabet boi's from rolling him up.  My friend kept his freedom and his job and his pension.  There is a lesson there, don't be chintzy with lawyers.  a good one will save your bacon. 

An Observation by Sandra Day O'Connor
"There is no shortage of lawyers in Washington, DC. In fact, there may be more lawyers than people."

The Hundred-Dollar Bill.
        Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it?
        The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.


Questions About Lawyers
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
        A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
        A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
        A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
        A: Senator.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
        A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
        A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
        A: His partners.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
        A: His lips are moving.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
        A: Not enough cement.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
        A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
        A: Chelsea Clinton

Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
        A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
        A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
        A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech>
        A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
        A: Just say, "Fees!"

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
        A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

Two Kinds of Lawyers
There are two kinds of lawyers: those who know the law and those who know the judge.

Mark Twain notes...
"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself."

Bad Reputation
Isn't it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.
 

This is supposedly a TRUE news story. I have my doubts, but you decide....
        A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
        In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
        But... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.


Lawyers and Alligators
        Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."
        "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
        "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
        "Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
        "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
        "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
        "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
        "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."

Postal Service Goof
The Postal Service just had to recall their latest new stamp issue. Lawyers were part of the design and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Minister and Lawyer in Heaven
        A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates, Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.
        "Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, the keys to our finest penthouse suite."
        "This is unfair!" cried the minister.
        "Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've ever seen."

Heaven Getting Crowded
        One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all died and went to heaven.
        St. Peter was there, having a bad day because heaven was getting crowded. When they got to the gate, St. Peter informed them that there would be a test to get into Heaven: They each had to answer a single question.
        To the teacher, he said, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?"
        The teacher thought for a second, and then replied: "That would have been the Titanic, right?" St. Peter let him through the gate.
        Next, St. Peter turned to the garbage man, and figuring that heaven didn’t really need all the stink that this guy would bring in, decided to make the question a little harder. "How many people died on the ship?"
        The garbage man guessed 1228, to which St. Peter said, "That happens to be right. Go ahead."
        St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "What were their names?"

Guess Who
        A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
        His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
        "But why?" asks the man.
        "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Professional Fighting
        Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."
        "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."
        While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and put a thumbtack in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
        Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and put a tack in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
        As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
        "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This putting tacks in shoes and spitting in cokes?"



Three Wishes
        A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the genie.
        "But there's a catch," the genie continued. "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for."
        First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferrari's," said the genie. "What is your next wish?"
        "I could really use a million dollars." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer," the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
        The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."

The Truck Driver, Priest, and Lawyer
        A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he swerved to hit him and there would be a loud "THUMP". Then he would swerve back on the road.
        One day, as the truck driver was driving along the road he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over.
        "Where are you going, Father?" The truck driver asked.
        "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
        "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road.
        Instinctively he swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so he swerved back to the road and narrowly missed the lawyer.
        Certain he should've missed the lawyer, the truck driver was very surprised and immediately uneasy when he heard a loud "THUMP". He felt really guilty about his actions and so turned to the priest and said, "I'm really sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
        "That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door."


Fair and Square
        Taking his seat in chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "I have been presented by both of you with a bribe," the judge began. Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, Attorney Leoni, gave me $15,000. And you, Attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."
        The judge reached in his pocket a pulled out a check, which he handed to Leoni. "Now, then, I'm returning $5,000, and we are going to decide this case solely on its merits."

I'm Innocent!
        "How is it that you can't get a lwyer to defend you?" the judge asked the prisoner.
        "Well, yer honor, it's like this. As soon as those lawyers found out I didn't steal the money, they wouldn't have anything to do with me."

Lawyer on Vacation
        A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road. Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
        The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

Are blondes smarter than lawyers? You be the judge.
        A blonde and lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, very tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over toward the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists (as lawyers are wont to do) and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00 and vice versa."
        Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
        The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."
        This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to the torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
        The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
        The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
        "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
        She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
        The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and Library of Congress, still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, all to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
        The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
        The lawyer, more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
        Without a word, the blonde reaches in her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Monday Music "Night on Disco Mountain" by David Shire

I am continuing to work on  the house for the past few days so I was unable to post, I had enough time to read my blogroll in the morning as I drank my coffee, before I started working on the house.
I have been enjoying the run of songs, I never had a theme last this long, and I am  really enjoying it in a weird sort of way,   I have several more weeks in mind, perhaps longer.  As long as I can flog er work the muse, I will,
     I am continuing my string of "bugaloo" songs.  This discussion was started in the "Monster Hunter Nation, Hunters Unite", back in December? it is a Facebook group with enthusiast of the ILOH "International Lord of Hate" A.K.A Larry Correia.  We were talking about what song would we use if we looked out of our window or glanced at our security camera and saw this.....

One of the alphabet bois lining up to take down your house...What would be your "Valhalla" song and you would set it up to play as you load up magazines and prepare yourself.

 I figured it would scar the alphabet boys if they come busting in and hearing a song that is related to Disco and Porn in the 1970's.  What can I say, My humor is warped....just a bit. Next week will be "Disco Inferno by the Trammps",  Now that should really cause some psych evals., hehehe, some poor ATF guy trying to explain the attraction to his mother because of Disco. and the possibility of inferno and Tannerite Rover :D

 David Lee Shire (born July 3, 1937) is an American songwriter and composer of stage musicals, film and television scores. The soundtracks to the 1976 film The Big Bus, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, The Conversation and All the President's Men, and parts of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack such as "Manhattan Skyline", are some of his best-known works. His other work includes the score of the 1985 film Return to Oz (the "sequel-in-part" of The Wizard of Oz), and the stage musical scores of Baby, Big, Closer Than Ever, and Starting Here, Starting Now. Shire is married to actress Didi Conn.
   David Shire arranged an orchestral disco adaptation for the 1977 motion picture Saturday Night Fever. The arrangement, titled "Night on Disco Mountain" appears on track 10 of the soundtrack album. Except for changes in phrasing and rhythm plus the addition of a disco drumbeat and "scratch" guitar, it is fairly true to Mussorgsky's original symphonic arrangement.

Night on Bald Mountain (Russian: Ночь на лысой горе, romanized: Noch′ na lysoy gore), also known as Night on the Bare Mountain, is a series of compositions by Modest Mussorgsky (1839–1881). Inspired by Russian literary works and legend, Mussorgsky composed a "musical picture", St. John's Eve on Bald Mountain (Russian: Иванова ночь на лысой горе, romanized: Ivanova noch′ na lysoy gore) on the theme of a witches' sabbath occurring on St. John's Eve, which he completed on that very night, 23 June 1867. Together with Nikolay Rimsky-Korsakov's Sadko (1867), it is one of the first tone poems by a Russian composer.
Although Mussorgsky was proud of his youthful effort, his mentor, Miliy Balakirev, refused to perform it. To salvage what he considered worthy material, Mussorgsky attempted to insert his Bald Mountain music, recast for vocal soloists, chorus, and orchestra, into two subsequent projects—the collaborative opera-ballet Mlada (1872), and the opera The Fair at Sorochyntsi (1880). However, Night on Bald Mountain was never performed in any form during Mussorgsky's lifetime.
In 1886, five years after Mussorgsky's death, Rimsky-Korsakov published an arrangement of the work, described as a "fantasy for orchestra." Some musical scholars consider this version to be an original composition of Rimsky-Korsakov, albeit one based on Mussorgsky's last version of the music, for The Fair at Sorochyntsi:

I need hardly remind the reader that the orchestral piece universally known as 'Mussorgsky's Night on the Bare Mountain' is an orchestral composition by Rimsky-Korsakov based on the later version of the Bare Mountain music which Mussorgsky prepared for Sorochintsy Fair.

— Gerald Abraham, musicologist and an authority on Mussorgsky, 1945

It is through Rimsky-Korsakov's version that Night on Bald Mountain achieved lasting fame. Premiering in Saint Petersburg in 1886, the work became a concert favourite. Half a century later, the work obtained perhaps its greatest exposure through the Walt Disney animated film Fantasia (1940), featuring an arrangement by Leopold Stokowski, based on Rimsky-Korsakov's version. Mussorgsky's tone poem was not published in its original form until 1968. Although still rarely performed, it has started to gain exposure and become familiar to modern audiences.
 

 

 

 

Chivary and Civility...And The Modern Age...

I was looking through older blogpost doing research for another blogpost    Well I ran across this post I wrote 6 years ago(Wow been that long...Dang.) and it is still true.  I still see more of the same behavior that I noticed and finally wrote about 6 years ago.  I had commented that I have been told that I am a throwback to a forgotten age where Civility was the norm, rather than the exception, and it says so on the header of my blog.
     I decided to do a post on chivalry, what meant and the lack of it now.   This post has been eating at me for a long time and I finally decided to roll with it.

     I have been told that I am a throwback to a bygone age,my mannerism and vocabulary are archiac from what I was told.   I am a firm believer in manners, I like to quote "Lazarus Long" a character that Robert Heinlein created.  Basically Lazarus Long was an immortal and he would keep notes of his experiences and observations.
    "Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as “empty,” “meaningless,” or “dishonest,” and scorn to use them. No matter how “pure” their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best."

     I will use other quotes from Lazarus here and there to make a point, Robert Heinlein  besides being a prolific writer was prescient also, but I digress.  The point I was making and he was with that quote is basically manners are the social lubricant for interactions with other people.  I have told my son more than once, to be nice to people and remember your manners, you get more accomplished with a kind word than being a jerk.  
     The Act of Chivalry as practiced long ago is no longer there, It used to be stressed as part of our culture, the culture of the West.  But it is no longer practiced because people out there believe that all cultures are equal and if you display chivalrous manners, you are denigrating other cultures.....Are you kidding?   The same people that denigrate Western Civilization, are the cultural marxist and their fellow travelers that use what is called "Constructive criticism" to challenge the beliefs of a culture.  This is from the Frankfurt School of Neo Marxist social theory.  Once you have forced a society to question it's long held belief system, you can then replace it with one that is more conducive to the goals of the marxist.  The Marxist believe in social and economic equality...the end results...Having one culture being superior to the other cultures kinda upsets the social applecart.  The lack of manners that is being displayed today is a result of this.  Remember back in the Victorian era, the manners were expected of all , even the "low class people" and if somebody gave you an affront, you were expected to deal with it yourself.  Usually with a duel or fisticuffs I believe it was called.  Even when I was in school, if somebody was bullying you , you either sucked it up or you beat the bully.  Now they want you to go tell an authority figure instead...People are afraid to do anything unless they have the power of the state behind them.  People are afraid to stand on their own two feet.  That is what the social reconstruction has wrought.
     This ties in with the decline of Western civilization.  

     "The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of “loyalty” and “duty.” Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute--get out of there fast. You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late to save that society. It is doomed. "

Another quote from Lazarus, Remember that the idea of duty and loyalty are denigrated in today's society as being "outmoded" and old fashioned. "  Duty is very hard to describe, Robert E. Lee had commented that " Duty is sublime and the harshest of mistresses".  Duty is difficult to describe, but duty is basically your obligation that you place on yourself as what you owe to society by your standards.  Duty is part of a person's personal code of honor and integrity.  Words that you don't see much of anymore.  People do " what feels good", not thinking that they are doing is contributing to the decline of Western Civilization.  Loyalty is another word that is not used anymore except to yourself.  People nowadays are taught by the decline of societal norms that  it is OK to "let it all hang out" where in the past such behavior is frowned upon.  If you did something that was frowned upon by society, you got the message pretty fast, this contributed to a code of conduct or behavior that was expected of all gentlemen.  Now it is OK to be a thug.  Again this is by design, if a society cannot remember its past or the moral upbringing, than they will accept anything that the statist put out there.

"All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplus age, excrescence, adornment, luxury or folly which can--and must--be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a “perfect society” on any foundation other than “women and children first!” is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly--and no doubt will keep on trying"

     Another quote from Lazarus,   It does harken back to the Victorian age of "Women and Children First".  Because in that time, they knew that it was the job of all men of virtue to ensure that the women and children survived, it was a way to guarantee their culture.  It also taught a person to put the needs of the society above his needs.  I always liked the phrase that the veteran at one time handed the government a blank check that would include payment including life if necessary.  people that are willing to out the needs of the country above their own are a rare breed,
     I remembered when I was in North Georgia College, the Military college along with VMI, the Citadel, and Norwich.  There was a painting on the wall that discussed  the rules of Gentlemen.  

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it's in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful
5. Opening the door or giving up a seat for a lady isn't up
for discussion.
6. Work hard, that is if you want to own anything worth having
7. Starting / instigating a fight is for school boys, but men obtain the power to end one.
8. Ignorance isn't bliss, knowledge is power.
9. Suit up (make sure they're tailored to fit)
10. Confidence is a gentleman's trademark.
11. Comfort zones are for the weak, men aren't weak.
12. Foul language is for the less educated.

13. Make Eye contact and mean business.

14. Lower your standards for no one.

15. Being romantic doesn't make you a woman.
16. Stay groomed.
17. Admit when you're wrong
18. Always make the first move, you're the MAN
19. Handwritten "Thank you" cards aren't outdated. Use them.
20. Chivalry is not dead, there are just too many boys.
21. It is said you can tell a lot about a man through his handshake, so make it strong and firm.
22. Leave her breathless
23. Judge no one, just improve yourself.
24. Speak your mind, don't hesitate.
25. Offer your arm to a lady while walking, they'll feel secure.
26. You're the man, you pay.
27. Women love compliments, gentlemen provide them.
28. Never wear your hat indoors, it's disrespectful.
29. Make sure everyone has their plate before you start eating.
30. We don't always have to be the center of attention, but we are always noticed. It is our      signature   as gentlemen to come, make a statement, leave, and be remembered.
31.  Never discuss the virtues of your women with other gentleman, it is crass and beneath you.

  A gentleman is a successor of the knights that were sworn to defend the weak against injustice , this was a noble endeavor, it showed what it took to be the best of us, what made us more than mammals interested in the here and now.  A Knight was supposed to represent the best of their society by words and deeds.

   I don't know what will it take to bring back the old norms, it will take generations to undue the damage done to Western civilization by the Marxist and their fellow travelers.  I don't know if we as a society have the mental fortitude to make the proper call.  I almost think of the 40 years in the desert like the Israelite did after leaving Egypt until all that remembered the bondage was no longer there and the ones that were there grew up in freedom and adversity.

Some pithy comments

Here in GA, our governor has decided to open the state up for certain industries, and some of the people here have lost their freaking mind, they are shrieking like harpies  "We are going to die, you are going to kill us!"...

I saw this on my farcebook feed and it is true...It boils down to personal choice, if you are afraid, then fine stay at home, If you go out, just take basic precautions and enjoy going out.  What pisses me off is the sanctimonious assholes that say "Stay home, work from home" when they have jobs that they can work from home and many people don't have that option. so the assholes that can stay at home go all "Karen" on people and start squealing on their neighbors.  these are the people that the Stasi or the NKVD would use as informers to spy on their fellow citizens so the state can stay informed.  We are Americans and to see this crap really pisses me off.  There are people that want to have our economy in standstill until there is no doubt and that is a physical impossibility.  They don't know what will happen to us if we are stuck inside until past summer.  The city people have no idea what life outside their enclaves are like, they have no ideas where the food comes from, where the water comes from, where the damm power comes from.  they think all that stuff shows up at Whole foods or Amazon or at the flick of the switch.  We out of the cities know what life actually is like.  What happens if we can't get the crops in? the farms going, the food system moving...?  This winter will be a real problem for a lot of people especially the city people who keeping more than 48 hours of food is a real problem for them.  What will happen if the stores start drying up because in their panic earlier in the year they prevented the people that really work from doing their job?  Withing 72 hours, the supermarkets will be empty and the idiots will destroy their cities and riot and loot and spread out and start hitting the surrounding areas, and unfortunately for them, the surrounding areas are self sufficient and a lot of them carry firearms and it will start getting bloody.  This is the reality that could be forced upon us by the people that want to stay home and "wait for everything to be perfect, because if you don't you might kill grandma."    Really? 

    There are those that are enjoying the shutdown, most of the same people that are "Narc'in" on their neighbors are enjoying the economy grinding to a halt, they are enjoying the millions of people on unemployment, because it might hurt "Orange Man Bad".  They are totally willing to cripple the economy because they have no other choices, their presidential candidate is a guy full of gaffes' wandering hands and can't remember what the hell he is supposed to be doing....

    You also have several governors most of them democratic that have gone totally dictator, arbitrarily suspending peoples access to parks, lakes, and other venue's.  In Michigan, Governor Halfwit forbade access to the lake if your boat had a motor, but if your boat was powered by oars, then you were ok. She also forbade selling of seeds for planting crops, but if you wanted to buy grass, you could.....I suspect she is trying to position herself as VEEP for the Biden campaign, she is a governor, whereas the other people are not, she has that going for her to counterbalance the other candidates being "POC" like Kamala Harris, or Stacy Abrams who is running her shadow governorship in exile because she still believes that she should have won the governor of Georgia.

      You also have had several city governments ratchet down on tyrant, including in California where they had city employees fill in a skate park to the people couldn't use it.....so the people brought dirt bikes instead....This is what going on...It is like there is a war for the nation...who will win...the Tyrants? the Karen's? or the People yearning to be free and make their own decisions? 

The Boeing Monomail

This one of my Aviation related post, Flying Airmail was a lucrative business for many new airplane owners, it was a guaranteed income stream.  Boeing recognizing the lucrative possibilities designed a plane for that market segment. 

Boeing’s productions pushed the United States aviation industry forward during the first half of the 20th Century. Its seaplanes such as the B & W, Model C, and B-1 all sparked life into the growing market. Its biplanes such as the Model 40 also took flying prospects to the next level. However, the launch of the Monomail in 1930 truly helped the industry realize its potential due to the aircraft’s revolutionary features.

The Monomail marked the beginning of a new era in manufacturing at Boeing. Photo: Boeing

This monoplane helped the market shift away from the traditional biplanes of the time with its sleeker design. According to Boeing, the plane had a wingspan of over 59 feet and a length of just under 42 feet. The wing was set lower, and its smooth build was made of entirely metal and had no struts. The early form of the standard modern plane can be seen in the structure of this model.

Other vital advancements of the Monomail include its retractable landing gear and the streamlined fuselage. Moreover, its engine was covered by an antidrag cowling, adding to the aerodynamic design of the plane.

The first edition of the Monomail was the Model 200. Much like several pioneering aircraft of this era, it was a mail plane. It saw success on a route between Chicago and San Francisco from July 1931.

The unit weighed 8,000 lbs and could accommodate approximately 1,500 pounds of goods. It could reach a range of 500 miles with a top speed of 158 mph and a cruising speed of 135 mph. Additionally, it could hit a ceiling of 14,700 feet with its 575-horsepower Pratt & Whitney Hornet B engine.

Unfortunately, pilot Alva Lucas crashed a monomail while delivering mail from Montana to Wyoming in October 1935. According to Colorado Wreck Chasers, the aircraft descended too soon and impacted terrain 13 miles south of Glendo.

               The plane was slender compared to its predecessors.

Boeing also designed another variant for passenger use in the form of the Model 221. This edition’s fuselage was stretched by eight inches and gave up some shipping capacity to carry six passengers. Additionally, the plane’s pilot handled the front in an open cockpit, taking off for the first time on August 18th, 1930.

However, it was the introduction of the transcontinental passenger service aircraft, Model 221A that left an even bigger impact. This model revised the earlier units with slight fuselage extensions to enable a cabin that can hold eight passengers inside. This type saw commercial success as United Airlines (then United Air Lines) took it on for its Cheyenne to Chicago operations.

                                              A Boeing 221 Monomail during flight.

Boeing admits that one of the significant drawbacks of the Monomail was that it was ahead of its time. The design was too progressive for the engines and propellers that were around

The plane needed a low-pitch propeller for departing and a high-pitch propeller to cruise while in the air. However, by the time variable-pitch propellers arose, new multiengine aircraft entered the market. Subsequently, the 200 Monomail was retired in 1933

P-26 "PeaShooter"

 Nonetheless, it was the Monomail that set the standard for these modern planes. The designs of the B-9 and the P-26 Peashooter, both drew inspiration from the Monomail. 

Additionally, the Model 247 is perhaps the most crucial offspring from the Monomail. The airliner was operated by both commercial airlines and the military. Key holders included Avianca, Lufthansa, Canadian Pacific Airways, the United States Army Air Corps, the Royal Air Force, and the Royal Canadian Air Force. Therefore, the aircraft indeed catalyzed Boeing’s international presence.

                                      A United Boeing 247 aircraft.

Altogether, the Monomail lived a short but impactful life. Its emergence in the 1930s helped shape the aviation industry for one of its most important periods heading into World War II. US aviation was able to build on the revolutions that the aircraft offered to take operations to greater heights throughout the century.  What caused the retirement of the Boeing Monomail was the airlines getting the contract to deliver the mail and it created a scandal in the process.

        Charges of corruption in the air mail system led President Roosevelt to cancel all air mail contracts. The Army resumed carrying the mail.

Federal reforms enacted in 1930 gave most routes and air mail contracts to big airline holding companies. Small, independent airlines complained this was unfair, even though most had sold their own contracts and some did not even exist when the law was passed.
The independents fought to break the holding companies' power. Their efforts led to congressional hearings and unfounded charges of corruption and conspiracy to monopolize the air mail. Responding to political pressure, President Franklin Roosevelt canceled all domestic air mail contracts on February 9, 1934. The Army Air Corps was again called upon to carry the mail.

Aero Digest	In February 1934, the Air Corps again began carrying the mail. Flying in the worst winter in decades, in ill-equipped aircraft, Air Corps pilots suffered a series of well-publicized accidents, mostly during training. Several pilots died. Public outcry caused President Roosevelt to suspend the Air Corps' mail service until improvements could be made.
National Air and Space Museum Archives	Thomas Braniff led the fight by independent airlines to break the power of the airline holding companies that dominated air transportation in the 1930s.
National Air and Space Museum Archives	War hero and American Airways vice president Eddie Rickenbacker condemned the air mail crisis as "legalized murder" after several Air Corps pilots died while flying the mail. Charles Lindbergh, testifying before Congress, criticized President Roosevelt for hastily canceling the air mail contracts and punishing the airlines without due process.
	The Air Mail Act of 1934 Four months after the air mail crisis began, Congress passed the Air Mail Act. It cut payment rates to airlines, returned most air mail routes to the major airlines, and gave some routes to smaller airlines. It divided regulation among the Post Office, Commerce Department, and Interstate Commerce Commission. Aviation holding companies were dissolved and airlines separated from aircraft manufacturers. Previous air mail contractors had to change their names or restructure. American Airways became American Airlines. Eastern Air Transport became Eastern Air Lines.
	Punished Without a Trial The Air Mail Act of 1934 broke up the large airline holding companies and forced the firing of airline executives wrongfully accused of conspiring to monopolize the air mail. One victim was Philip G. Johnson of United Air Lines. Like many others, Johnson had attended Walter Brown's operators conferences in 1930, in which air mail contracts and routes had been legally awarded. Ironically, United received no contracts during these so-called "Spoils Conferences." Nevertheless, Johnson and many others were wrongfully-and unconstitutionally-barred from the airline industry without the benefit of a trial.

more adventures of he Quarantined Dad

Continuing my journey into sheltering in place, I have painted and refurbed the masterbath in the house, that took several days.  I had to do "Cut-ins" with the paint, and the smell of paint a week later is still there, there is no way to open the window in the bathroom to facilitate fumes removal.  But anyway; I did things around the house and went for a ride on the motorcycle, and it was a good ride,

   I rode through several towns and yes I carried and I maintained my social distances

I got home and I had to park my motorcycle outside for a bit while my son was finishing welding up some paying projects.

The Next day My son and I went to Pull-A-Part to get a couple of parts for his F150 and I was looking for leather bucket seats for my F150.

My Son was lucky, he found what he was looking for and I struck out....Oh well.

It was a nice day to walk around a junkyard.  Now if I was looking parts for my Grumpy Veterans Ranger I used to have, it would have been the happy Hunting ground for me, but for my generation F150, the pickings are slim.

My son has removed the bumper to install a horn from an F250 he had found, be believed and correctly so that it would cross over into an F150.  and it did, he also was successful in replacing the broken drivers side glass of the side view mirror.

Bumper laying there as he installs the horn and it works well, so he can communicate in traffic.

Monday Music "Disco Duck" By Rick Dees

I have been busy working the house for the past few days so I was unable to post, I had enough time to read my blogroll in the morning as I drank my coffee, before I started working on the house.
I have been enjoying the run of songs, I never had a theme last this long, and I am  really enjoying it in a weird sort of way,   I have several more weeks in mind, perhaps longer.  As long as I can flog er work the muse, I will,
     I am continuing my string of "bugaloo" songs.  This discussion was started in the "Monster Hunter Nation, Hunters Unite", back in December? it is a Facebook group with enthusiast of the ILOH "International Lord of Hate" A.K.A Larry Correia.  We were talking about what song would we use if we looked out of our window or glanced at our security camera and saw this.....

One of the alphabet bois lining up to take down your house...What would be your "Valhalla" song and you would set it up to play as you load up magazines and prepare yourself.

 I figured it would scar the alphabet boys if they come busting in and hearing a song that is related to Disco and Porn in the 1970's.  What can I say, My humor is warped....just a bit. Next week will be "Night on Disco Mountain by David Shire",  Now that should really cause some psych evals., hehehe, some poor ATF guy trying to explain the attraction to his mother because of Disco.

I was on the way to work and this song came on my 70's channel on my Sirius XM in my truck and I had totally forgotten about this song.  I enjoyed the trip down memory lane.  I remember when this song came out and it was huuuuge.  When I was a kid I really liked this song and I kept imaging it was Donald Duck singing the song.

  What can I say, I was 10 years old back then and there was no internet to research things. 

"Disco Duck" is a satirical disco novelty song performed by Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots. At the time, Dees was a Memphis disc jockey. It became a number-one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 for one week in October 1976 (and ranked #99 out of the 100 most popular songs of the year according to Billboard magazine). It also made the top 20 on the Billboard Hot Soul Singles chart, peaking at number 15. "Disco Duck" was initially released in the south by Estelle Axton's Fretone label, but it was later released by RSO Records for national and international distribution.

Written by Dees, "Disco Duck" was inspired by a 1960s novelty dance song called "The Duck," recorded by Jackie Lee (Earl Lee Nelson in 1965. According to Dees, it took one day to write the song, but three months to convince anyone to perform it^.
Combining orchestral disco styles with a Donald Duck–esque voice as the main plot point, the story within "Disco Duck" centers around a man at a dance party who is overcome by the urge to get up and "get down" in a duck-like manner. When the music stops, he sits down, but when he decides to get up and dance again, he finds that everyone in the room is now doing his dance.

A misconception about "Disco Duck" is that the voice of the duck itself was provided by Clarence Nash, the original voice of Donald Duck in many Walt Disney cartoons, but on several occasions the Disney Company maintained that Nash never contributed to the song. The voice of the duck was performed by Ken Pruitt, an acquaintance of Dees, as stated on the label of the RSO release. For the live tour, the duck vocals were handled by Michael Chesney, another acquaintance of Dees.

This video is a tongue in cheek humor of the Disco era, it is campy but a fun song and video

"Disco Duck" became a nationwide hit in the United States by September 1976. On the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, it peaked at number one on October 16, 1976, for one week, held the number-two spot for the following four weeks and remained in the Top 10 for a total of 10 weeks.
For all its success, "Disco Duck" was shunned by radio stations where Dees was living in Memphis, including WMPS-AM, the station Dees worked for at the time. Station management forbade Dees from playing the song on his own show and rival stations in the city refused to play it for fear of promoting the competition. When Dees talked about (but did not play) the song on his show one morning, his boss fired him citing conflict of interest. After a brief mandatory hiatus, Dees was hired by station WHBQ-AM, WMPS's primary competition in Memphis.
By the time "Disco Duck" had become a hit, Dees and his "Idiots" started making the rounds of the popular TV music shows to promote the song. On American Bandstand (and similar shows), Dees lip-synched to the recording, alone on stage with puppeteer Rickey Provow animating a duck puppet that he had made. Ironically, this appearance was never seen in the Memphis area due to then-ABC affiliate WHBQ-TV pre-empting Bandstand for wrestlin at the time and for the aforementioned